Friday, March 13, 2015
I often think about life in general and mine in particular when it seems that I am experiencing increasing opportunities presented to me that say "Would you like a senior discount?"

It is certainly true that life seems to be going by faster, and I can only say... "Who authorized that?"

So here are some musings for your consideration and for you to pause and re-evaluate the business of living:

COMMON SENSE: it is very important to periodically remind yourself of the obvious that might be right in front of your face.  Life is messy and there is always a gap between how life should be and how life is, therefore, concentrate on the cheese and quit whining about the holes.  
And, remember that common sense is very uncommon.

LIFE: Life is really all about two things and two things only:
1.    Touching the lives of others
2.    Getting your life touched.
All the rest is noise.  And, it is more than coincidental that the more you reach out and touch the lives of others, your life gets touched in return.

 HAPPINESS: The closest distance between two people is the warmth of closeness, affection, forgiveness, respect, and humor... and that is where happiness resides.

FAMILY: Remember to love what you can love in another and then let the rest go. What you focus on expands.  Life is too short to keep describing the problem. It is often by far more productive to solve the problem. Then spend some more time touching the lives of others.That is where and when you feel full, and with love in your heart.

COMPLIMENTS: Remember that every time you discount or invalidate any compliment given to you, you are telling the other person they are wrong and they are disallowed to be impressed with you. Eventually, they will finally quit giving you any compliments or reinforcing remarks.Then, you will say to yourself... "does anybody like me or think I am any good?"
Now think... Ah ha!... you might start concluding you are routinely preventing the very thing you want!
So, let people be impressed with you and simply say "THANK YOU"... which will encourage them to compliment you more. People need to be fed, including you. Allow people to reinforce you, and spend more time reinforcing them.
Catch someone doing something right then tell them about it! You are at a very low risk of reinforcing others too much.
 

Dr. Mitchell Perry


PS: Below are some more very enlightened perspectives about  life's lessons. In fact, many of the perspectives below are statements gathered from dozens of different people (aged 5 to 95),many of which were collected in the 1995 book, Live and Learn and Pass It On, Volume II.








   
ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVES 

For your consideration:

I've learned... that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned... that when you're in love, and you find your smile, it shows.

I've learned... that regardless of how much you ignore the facts, the facts still remain the facts.

I've learned... that for you to be a fully functioning grown-up, you must take responsibility for your thoughts, decisions, and conduct. 

I've learned... that it often a good idea to say, "I was wrong, I hurt you, I'm sorry, and please forgive me." Then, go clean up your mess without further delay.

I've learned... that life is often about learning lessons... and lessons will be repeated until they are learned. Only when we hold ourselves accountable are we likely to learn those necessary lessons. 

I've learned... that just one person saying to me, "You've made my day," makes my day.

I've learned... that having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I have learned... that the words Mom and Dad are the sweetest words in the English language. Remember they did the best they knew how at the time.

I've learned... that being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned... that to give is so much more rewarding than to receive.

I've learned... that it is routinely a good idea to say yes to a gift from a child.

I've learned... that I can always pray for someone when I lack the strength to help him or her in some other way.

I've learned... that regardless of how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend with whom to have fun and act goofy.

I've learned... that sometimes all a sick person needs is to have the hand held by a loved one sitting by the sickbed.

I've learned... that sending a thank you note, a congratulations note, a condolence note, or a love note, is perhaps the best thing you can do.

I've learned... that simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned... that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
            
I've learned... that having loved and lost is better than missed having loved at all.

I've learned... that loves lost can turn into powerful life's lessons and life-long true friendships.

I've learned... that money is often unable to buy class.
           
I've learned... that class is unrelated to gender, race, religion, or wealth.

I've learned... that under everyone's hard shell is someone who is often scared and hurt and wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned... that when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned... that love, instead of time, heals all wounds.

I've learned... that the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile. A bit of warmth goes a long way to touch their lives.

I've learned... that life is tough, and I'm tougher.

I have learned... that after having suffered a great injustice, my best revenge is to strive for success again.

I've learned... that opportunities are rarely lost; someone will likely take the ones you miss.

I've learned... that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned... that I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.

I've learned... that it is a good idea to keep your words both soft and tender, because tomorrow you may have to eat them.

I've learned... that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned... that when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in their little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned... that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, yet all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned... that the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

I've learned... that when life is yucky, the world always seems to look better after a shower and clean underpants.   

I've learned... that life is like a camera. Focus on what's important. Capture the good times.  Develop from the negatives and if things turn out poorly... take another shot. 



Today's Tickle
             
 Disorder in the Courts

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said ...in court, word for word, taken down and Published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.


ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? 
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' 
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? 
WITNESS: My name is Susan! 
_______________________________ 
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? 
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. 
____________________________________________ 
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? 
WITNESS: No, I just lie there. 
____________________________________________ 
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? 
WITNESS: July 18th. 
ATTORNEY: What year? 
WITNESS: Every year. 
_____________________________________ 
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? 
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. 
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? 
WITNESS: Forty-five years. 
_________________________________ 
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? 
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. 

At your service,
 
Dr. Mitchell Perry
JM Perry Learning

P.S.  Let me know how you are doing!